Suddenly Emily...

I had no plan for any of this.

I had no way of seeing this coming.

Coming on the heels of Bad Date Weekend, I wasn't looking for anyone or for anything.

I was just going to my Meisner class, ready to re-connect with my inner actor, etc. etc. etc.

Emily is in that class.

I am terrified of Emily.

She's 26 and young and superhot. She's clearly smart and confident in her youth and life. She's comfortable onstage and she fearlessly attacks her scene. And she awakens all of my inner collegiat insecurities. If she talks to me, I am suddenly my most timid, college-age self, only in this aging, balding, fattening body. I lack the hard belly of my college days and my long hair to protect me from her wily, girly charms.

Naturally, I've been avoiding her as much as possible.

Which hasn't always worked.
I've taken the stage to do my scene and she's the person who gets up to join me. On Day One, she was my partner and we did the exercise where we stare at our partner and scrutinize them physically for two minutes and then describe them, making guesses to personality based upon posture, dress, etc. She described me first and I caught myself embarrased by my clothes that day and the tuft of chest hair that they revealed. And the thinning hair.
When it was my turn to describe her, i stuck to her clothes only and said that she "had smart eyes, very clever". I didn't talk about the way that her eyebrows arch when she's considering something. Or her caramel-colored skin. Or the way that her hair has slipped out from her headband and thin wisps of it have fallen down her neck. Or her the sleeveless shirt which showed off how lithe and agile her arms are.
How exquisitively lovely Emily is.
All of that was left unsaid.

In the notes section of the exercise, she said, "He was so quiet and reserved, when he was describing me. I trusted him and knew he wouldn't attack me or tear me apart. The quieter he got while describing me, the more that I wanted to lean in and listen to him." I didn't tell her that I got quiet because I didn't want to betray how lovely I thought that she was. We're not THAT honest in our meisner class.

That was a month ago. And I've avoided her, every week since then.

Last night, she chose to be my scene partner again. I entered the door into the scene and helped her look for a contact lens that wasn't really there. In the notes, after the scene, our teacher was more concerned with the lack of an actual, physical contact lens. When he got to me and said, "What were you feeling in that scene?" I answered, "I was just happy to be here with her." And she looked at me...

After class, as we were all leaving, Emily cut through the crowd to come talk to me. She hates her current job, ad sales, and she is investigating other options. She wanted to talk to me about the theater and what might be happening here. She also wanted to know about how I got my job and any tips I had for getting a job in the theater. I was a little caught-off-guard by the attention, but I kept things professional. I talked about the websites that I use to post jobs and the websites where I can usually find jobs. We walked as we talked and I found myself at my office door. I went inside to gather up my things and she leaned on the door frame, asking questions and listening to my answers.

Another co-worker came in and we all three talked about the job market and working in theater. Emily was comfortable chatting with Rose. Rose is also extraordinarily lovely. So, I avoid her too. And because I avoid her and I've never flirted with her at all, she's comfortable around me and wants to hang out in my office. Exactly the thing that I don't want to happen, but what can you do?

Two more co-workers showed up, having returned from the $2 wells drinks and 30 cent wings special, at the bar next door. They both had rosy cheeks. But it was after work and a hot summer day. The perfect day to hae a beer and watch the All Stars game. Upon hearing that the game was on, Emily perked up, looked dead at me and said, "You want to go next door with me and have a beer and watch the game?" Earlier, when my intern made the same offer, I declined, saying that I had to go let my dog out. I looked at Emily and said, "I'd love to."

And so we ended up in a Sports bar, talking and chatting more than watching the game. We talked about her travels to Europe and my childhood in Kentucky. We both told funny college stories. We both talked about class and our classmates and the crazy shit that people do in a Meisner class. We're both waiting to see when two girls will kiss. We both think it's inevitable.

She mentioned, in passing, that she's been single for three months now.

A friend of hers, Kristin, joined us at the bar. She was lovely and charming, too. They were both drinking cocktails and I passed over a tray of mild hot wings to her and watched Kristin dig into them. All three of us were sucking hot sauce off of our fingers and talking about movies, HBO shows and robot dinosaurs. You know, Important Stuff.

Emily asked me if I was seeing anyone and I said that I wasn't.

Another co-worker, Kevin, joined us and we all talked about how we all danced, when we danced. With demonstrations. Lots of laughs, all the way around.

Her knee brushed up against mine under the table, then rested against it and stayed there. I froze, like a man electrocuted, suddenly very, very nervous now.

Out of nowhere, Kevin asked when i was going to see his next show at the theater. It is opening this weekend. I said, "I don't know. Two or three weeks in, I guess. That's when I usually go." He quietly shook his head "no" and said, "You should go to opening night. We're papering the house AND we have critics in the house AND we're hosting a reception afterwards. You should come to the opening, this Sunday night... and you should invite your friend to come with you."

And he looked at Emily.
And she looked at me.

And said, "That sounds great. I'd love to come."

"Okay. It's a plan. Emily, do you want to catch a show with me, this weekend," I asked.

She answered, "I'd love to." Same thing I said, when she invited me out that night.

So, we exchanged numbers and email addresses and set a call time and that was the plan. We also made plans to see "The Dark Knight" with a group of friends, next week.

We settled the tab and Kevin offered me a ride home. All three of us walked south on Lincoln Ave. The girls chatted about girl stuff and I caught Kevin up on Robot Dinosaurs. We got the corner where we all parted ways and Kristin and I shook hands, "it was a pleasure meeting you" and Emily hugged Kevin and I had just enough time to think, "Oh fuck" and she came at me, all smiles and hugged me too and I wrapped my arms around her back and we stood there, hugging for a bit. We broke apart and they went one way and Kevin and I crossed the street.

Kevin said, "Wow."

And I said, "Yeah."

I don't know where she came from.
Or what I've done right to catch the interest of this extraordinarily beautiful woman. I didn't even consider this as a possibility. She is way too lovely for me. A bit out of the league that I am getting too old to play in.

I'm going to approach this one with a light touch and Realistic Expectations. I will be open to new experiences and less interested in applying lessons learned from previous relationships. I'll say "yes" to new experiences with her and look at her with the possibility that this might turn out all right, after all. I'll be less guarded and more open to exploring her uniqueness.

My new philosophy is to "Say yes to every adventure that comes my way" and when she arched those eyebrows at me and said, "Do you want to come with me?" I put aside the events of last weekend and said "Yes" to Emily and had the best night out with a girl in weeks. Months.

I see her again in 4 nights.

Wow.

Yeah.

Cheers,
Mr.B